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Dialogues with Christian Chicks
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The Devil (666) sends an Internet message (IM) to Jesus Truckin' (JT), whose status with Jesus must be ranked very high. 666: How was your Good Friday the 13th? JT: THE BLOOD OF JESUS IS AGAINST YOU!!! 666: Not that good, eh? JT blocks IMs from 666. GOD'S GAL 666 sends an IM to God's Gal (GAL), who expects God to send her a man. 666: Did you have a good Friday the 13th? GAL: I sure did. 666: Did you celebrate the execution of Jesus by eating roasted lamb? GAL: Nope. 666: Do you think it was fate that this Good Friday is on the 13th? GAL: I think it's just coincidence. Good Friday falls on a different date each year. 666: I know, but how often does the first Good Friday of a New Millennium fall on the 13th? Don't you think that is odd? GAL: I guess. 666: Maybe it's the hand of God at work. GAL: Maybe. 666: I think it's a sign that Heaven and Hell are joining forces. Becoming one, you know? GAL: I dunno. 666: Gee, for being God's gal you don't know very much. GAL: I don't really agree with everything you're saying. And that's ok. 666: I understand. Most mortals have trouble with the truth. GAL: Are you a christian? 666: What kind of "christian" do you mean? The kind that believes in Jesus? GAL: Yeah. 666: Then, yes, I believe in Jesus. He's my brother. GAL: Ok. 666: Do you believe in Jesus? GAL: Yes, I do. 666: What do you know about him? GAL does not respond. 666: Do you know why he hasn't returned my calls? No response. 666: How old are you? GAL: 16. 666: When I was 16, I was pretty confused about God, too. GAL: Well, I'm definitely not confused about God. 666: Could you tell me about your God? What does he look like? GAL: I've never seen Him face to face. I've only seen evidence of His work done in my life and the lives of those I love dearly. 666: Do you mind sharing some of your evidence with me? GAL: Well, my friend was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago. She was told that she would probably die within 4 months of the time that the cancer was found. We continually prayed for and with her. She is now in remission and very healthy. I give God all of the glory for healing her. 666: How old is your dying friend? GAL: 30. 666: Damn! What kind of cancer does she have? GAL: Breast cancer. 666: Why doesn't God fix everyone with cancer, like he fixed your friend? GAL: It's not God's plan for everyone to be "fixed". 666: Oh, so you do know something about God after all. Tell me more. GAL: What about God do you want to know? 666: How has he been all these years? Is he in good health? GAL: God? 666: Yeah. THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS. GAL: God is always in good health. He's PERFECT, you know. 666: Oh, that's strange. I heard that he lost his voice, that he hasn't answered a single prayer in 2000 years. GAL: God answers EVERY prayer. However, the answer isn't always "yes". Sometimes it's "no" or "not now". 666: Sounds like a girl I once dated … Do you believe that criminals who repent for their sins will go to Heaven? GAL: I believe that anyone who has accepted Jesus Christ as his or her savior will go to Heaven, including people who have committed crimes (if they are truly Christians). 666: Wouldn't it be weird if I raped you, then I repented, and we met again in Heaven? GAL: Whoa! You just stepped over the line. I really shouldn't be talking to you. 666: I apologize. Sometimes I get carried away. Will you still chat? GAL: Sorry, I have to go. 666: Thanks for being so kind to me. Bye. GAL stops sending IMs to 666. These dialogues were selected from Christian Chicks & The Devil: Stepping Over the Line, which is available for purchase in the Pamphlets section.
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